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Chuck Norris Facts and Our Social Dialogue

Trade Unions
FACT: Chuck Norris doesn't milk the cow: he stares at the cow and the cow milk itself

The Administration does not negotiate with the old unions: it just stares at them and they roll over and give in.

FACT: Chuck Norris had to really fight only one time in his life: it was 13.6 billions years ago and the final roundhouse kick is known as the Big Bang.

The Administration never had and never will have to negotiate unless you vote differently this time.

FACT: There was only one movie when Chuck Norris was beaten. By Bruce Lee.

I am not aware of any case where the Administration has been out-negotiated by the old unions. Vote better!

FACT: There is one thing Chuck Norris could but chooses to never do: negotiate

Same for the Administration, unless you vote better.

FACT: Tsunamis happen whenever Chuck Norris sneezes. With his eyes open.

Frustration and humiliation of personnel occur whenever the Administration decides alone about their lives. And if you don't vote well, no one will keep an eye on it.

Take yesterday, for example. SID was sending out its Three good reasons to vote for us, one of them (Democracy) being that we are excluded " from all real democratic participation in decisions about health, safety, dignity or human resource management in our working lives. "

Boring reading, some will say.

Meanwhile, a decision taken by the Administration without consultation with the personnel and without informing them (only the technical services were warned) was coming into force: more websites blocking, not for moral or security reasons this time, but because those sites "encourage time-wasting".

Any manager worth its salt could tell that people waste time because they have time to waste, because they are not motivated to work. Restricting one type of time-wasting will not motivate them, it will just make them waste time in another manner.

The Administration is not addressing the problem, but the symptom.

Maybe we don't have enough decent managers (although I know a few). What about those people (like EU-12/Post-2004 but not only) that have been shouting out that they are juniorized, over-qualified and that their promotions are being blocked? Couldn't they help?

What would Chuck do?

FACT: Chuck Norris doesn't need to know how to tie his laces: he just stares at them and they tie themselves.

The Administration does not need to know how to manage people: they just impose restrictions and the people fake work.

FACT: You can train a cat to do whatever it wants. Chuck Norris can train tigers to do whatever he wants.

The Administration can force people into faking whatever work is needed.

FACT: Antarctica used to be a sunny vacation spot before a waiter brought Chuck Norris a warm beer and he had to blow to chill it. The penguins liked it.

The Commission could be a nice and motivating place to work, if the Administration would stop imposing some senseless restrictions and would start talking to the staff representatives. The neck tied penguins would like it.

FACT: Chuck Norris invented most things, including the free Internet and gave them to the people.

The Administration took the Internet and completed it with senseless restrictions.

FACT: Chuck Norris also invented democracy to hide the fact that he runs everything.

The Administration is stronger than him, it doesn't even fake democracy.

FACT: Chuck Norris's favourite weapons are: the stare and the roundhouse kick.

Administration's favourite weapons are: the silence and the official Eurolook note.

FACT: Chuck Norris is loved and imitated by many people. Some of them are ruling North Korea, Syria, China, Iran, Belarus, etc.

The Administration is getting the Commission's policy about Internet closer to the respective policies of the above mentioned governments.

FACT: some children wear pyjamas with Superman. Superman wears pyjamas with Chuck Norris.

Some people in the Administration seem to wear Stalin pyjamas. It used to be Gaddafi but classics are hot again.

FACT: Chuck Norris invented democracy to avoid roundhouse kicking people to death.

The Administration sticks to traditional methods.

FACT: Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. In 3.14159 increments.

The Administration is bringing the Commission closer to a police state, in small, defensible increments. But the goal is not an infinity away.

FACT: Chuck Norris doesn't have a Yahoo account. Yahoo has a Chuck Norris account.

SID has one too. Vote for us, list #8.

FACT: Chuck Norris is actually a Texan actor and martial artist. He loves these FACTS and he even reads them on TV. That's because he invented humor.

Somebody high up in the Administration is now looking up the word "humor". Quick, before google is restricted.

S olidarity with those who work for their money
I ndependence from those who don't
D emocracy in all decisions taken by groups of sane, adult humans

SID - Solidarity, Independence, Democracy is an independent Trade Union of all EU Institutions employees (Je souhaite adhérer au SID…)

Created by: admin last modification: Wednesday 13 of June, 2012 [11:43:05 UTC] by admin

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Is this in the interest of Staff? · SID platform · SID on president José Manuel Durão Barroso's State of the Union Address 2011 speech in Strasbourg · X ChamberPot 01 · Goin Viral 01 · Steps CA 01 · Big Bad HR 01 · SID's petition 192/2009 is finally through to the Legislative Committee · Public Sector Strike in the UK on 30 June 2011 and EU Officials Strike in Brussels on 29 June 2011 · Public Transport Petition · May 2011 · Profs de Langue 01 · We've Come A Long Way · X02 ShipWrecked 02 · ShipoWrecked 01 · Limited Careers · Contempt of Court Contempt of Luxembourg · do you want to take the red or the blue pill · SID questions Commission proposal to reform once again the EU Staff Regulations · X01 01 · Defend Pensions FR · Defend Pensions EN · Arbitrary Procedures 01 · Unanswered questions to Mr Kallas · Une déclaration de guerre du Conseil contre le Service public européen · Charte Européenne des Droits fondamentaux : Dernière forteresse de l'espérance ? · Staff General Assembly in support to the Contract Agents · Regarding collective action of SJE and SID against our salary cuts · Clinging to EU charter of Fundamental Rights as the best bastion of hope · How many IT jobs are to be lost as a result of Cloud Computing madness · Budget Line 26 01 02 11 · SID became an affiliate member of Amnesty International UK · SID candidates for Brussel Staff Committee election and their program · SID candidates in VOTE THE CHANGE list in Luxembourg Local Staff Elections 2010 · Message of solidarity from SID to all Irish Public Service trade Unions · A Thought for Mayday 2010 · Mayday 2010, No to Bailing Out Billionaires, Yes to Real Economic Development · Local Staff Committee Rules · Local Staff Election system and results · National Union of Teachers · Highlights of SID platform · Detached from Democracy · Beyond Local Staff Elections · The D stands for Democracy · All you ever wanted to know about SID · The Roots of SID · March 8th; Help Amnesty International Stop War Crimes Against Women and their Children · March 8, Women and Hot Air · Protect the EU from its Friends · Does Admin believe in Miracles? · Corporations versus Citizens; Profit before People · Crucifixion and the CDR · Commission's Admin does its best to cope with the financial crisis · Sammanfattning av nyheter angående Kamangar gjord av studenter på universitetet i Amirkabir · Degradando al personal de la Comision · No to Economic Cannibalism Yes to Social Democracy and Co-decision · On Democracy and local Staff election results in Luxembourg 2007 · Mayday- Mayday Pensions going down · le douteux processus de certification de monsieur kallas · How the method sometimes malfunctions · dubious kallas certification process · articles 64 and 65 · ELECTION DES REPRESENTANTS DU PERSONNEL SALARIE OGBL · 2000 job cuts and what we did about it · In defense of Iranian trade unionists · Faible politique anti harcelement · election results 2007 Luxembourg in Spanish · A Weak Anti Harassment Policy · Local Workers Teachers and Phantoms · Kallas CDR reform · Do you remember that 2000 Jobs were to go in 2006 · CDR COMPASS SCOP and the unfortunate Officials · Will it solve your promotion problems · Kallas CDR Ultimatum in Spanish · Le monologue de l Administration Sociale pourrait il etre ne serait ce qu au moins vaguement democratique · Die CDR- das Ultimatum und das Referendum · CDR in Hungarian · Democracia Ltd Abuso de la RFID ·

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